El Dia Del Mustache

I love you. I can’t wait to see you again. Your friends hanging out on my chin will soon be shorn, leaving you and you alone to bask in the spotlight. You deserve it. You are a champion. A 4 time champion to be exact. God I love you. Others might not understand, but those kind of people drink soy milk lattes and wear designer non-prescription glasses. One day you and I will face the world together, every day. Until that day there will be one day, The Day, the day of days, El Dia Del Mustache. Did I mention that I love you?

Mustache people and friends of El Dia, Fitzy here. This is my first blog. And I have some rather bad news to report. Due to a job interview this week I was forced to trim my stache. Not shave mind you, just trim. This is only a minor setback in my quest to regain the Blue Jacket, as I have almost 1 full month of aggressive growing to look forward to. I’m gonna bring the heat this year and show the young upstart Sully that his place is on the Board not on the winners circle. Just kidding good luck to all you guys this El Dia is going to be the best ever. Get all your friends to grow a stache and let’s kick it old school at El Dia on March 8^th baby.

You shouldn’t need this video to teach you how to grow a mustache. It’s a simple one-step process. (Step No. 1: Stop shaving.) But if for some reason that doesn’t work, you can attempt the technique modeled here. It involves rolling your head in circles while listening to ragtime.

Sure, this People’s Court contestant probably sews himself skin suits out of trapped women, but you can’t help but love his answer to the question: “What’s the hardest part about being you?”

Gentlemen, start your ’staches!

(You too, ladies.)

Come one, come all, for the sixth installment of the greatest haberdashery of manliness the world has ever known.

El Dia Del Mustache 6!!!

When: March 8, 2008
Where: No Idea Bar, NYC
When: 3PM

Begin cultivating your lip hedge immediately. The cold weather is conducive to awesomeness, and we have precious little time before the day of all days is upon us. More info to come … and be sure to bookmark eldiadelmustache.com — your mustache capital of these here cyberwebs.

Please pass the news along to all friends and followers of the mustache. Do your part to make this the greatest El Dia in history.

Yours truly,
The Board

Born out of the ashes of masculinity, El Dia Del Mustache came to be in 2004. It was then that a small group of pioneers grew tired of society’s conventions and longed for the days when being a man meant cultivating a mustache, building stuff with your bare hands and listening to Billy Squire as you broke the speed limit in your Subaru Brat. This new band of rebels grew their own mustaches and invited a few comrades to do the same. When they all met up to compare upper lips, they called it “El Dia Del Mustache” and that afternoon was was nothing short of Earth-shattering. The result was a return to manhood, the likes of which hadn’t been seen in the history of humans since the day of the Viking. Since that fateful first event, word has gotten out that El Dia Del Mustache, held annually in March, is the party to end all parties. We’ve mushroomed from a half-dozen dudes to upwards of 100 revelers. Everyone is welcome, whether you’ve grown a tremendous mustache, or simply have a deep respect for them. El Dia Del Mustache 6 has been announced, so we hope to see you there.

Other Frequently Asked Questions

Why is everything except the word ‘Mustache’ in Spanish?

Good question. That’s because Spanish makes everything sound better, but nobody knows what the hell ‘bigote’ means.

Who founded El Dia Del Mustache?

El Dia was conceived by CK, Connie, Fitz, Murph and Sully, who are now known collectively as the board. The board organizes El Dia every year and makes the nominations for the event’s mustache contest. It’s also responsible for this Web site.

How can I join El Dia Del Mustache?

Simply show up. If you’re a woman, we appreciate your enthusiasm for the movement. If you’re a man, it’s advised you show up with a mustache, even if you don’t intend on competing. And please follow the rules of growth, or you’ll be forced to shave on site. Bring beer money.

Does a goatee count as a mustache?

In so much as an ass-hair is a pube … in that it isn’t at all. The goatee may be used as a vehicle to grow a mustache while also looking what is widely considered appropriate for work. But, a goatee is not a mustache. El Dia Del Mustache defines a ’stache as the contiguous plain of hair extending upward and outward from the upper lip area, which is neither rooted nor affixed by artificial means to any part of the fascia below the cusp of one’s lower lip.’ Merriam-Webster failed miserably on this one so you can see why The Board must be so specific.

Do you guys profit off of El Dia?

No. Any money made in the name of El Dia Del Mustache goes to charity. Specifically the Men’s Health Network, a non-profit organization committed to improving the health of men.