El Dia Del Mustache

The Rules

  1. Remember, the first rule of El Dia is that we do not criticize another man's 'stache. Above all else, do not break this rule.

  2. For those of you who are new to the game, costumes and funny outfits are OK, but they have no effect on the voting process. This is not Halloween.

  3. There must be NO root growth beneath the cusp of the lower lip.

    This means no Fu Manchus, no goatees, no soul patches, etc. The hair can extend in an outwards or upwards direction (in fact, it is encouraged) but can not extend below the cusp of the lower lip. Gentlemen, we are talking about traditional mustaches here.

  4. Above all else, remember to have fun. El Dia Del Mustache is like Christmas morning for adult men. Relish in it.

    It's your world. The rest of us just 'stache in it.

Competitive Categories

In the first two hours of an El Dia Del Mustache event, The Board nominates party attendees for the various competitive categories. During the voting, nominees take the stage category by category and the winners are determined by the fervor of the crowd. Below are examples and descriptions of what it takes to win.

  • Best in Show

    Best in Show

    The Best in Show 'stache is meaty, but not unkempt. It is hideously beautiful. Simply put, it's the top 'tache in the room. The winner walks away with the baby blue Members Only jacket, which is passed down from year to year like the Stanley Cup. Bear in mind that, during his reign, 2005's hairy winner Pheroze was known to wear it for extended periods of time with no shirt underneath. So, enter at your own risk.

  • Molester 'Stache

    Molester 'Stache

    The owner of this mustache feels comfortable in everyone else's discomfort. He gets the stink eye from parents when walking by playgrounds. His 'stache is not allowed within 100 feet of an elementary school. He gives the creeps the creeps. Winner goes home with the coveted "Who's drving this mustache?" hat (spelled as it is on the hat) for the dash of his rusted-out van.

  • Molester 'Stache

    Novelty 'Stache

    Novelty 'stachers are those who have cooked up a little something extra for the people, whether that's a John Waters-style pencil 'stache, mustache and sideburns connectors or a 'stache that's been dyed red, white and blue. You are an individual, an innovator. What you lack in follicle fortitude, you more than make up for with your creativity.

  • Molester 'Stache

    Dad 'Stache

    To win this category one must present a 'stache that looks paternal and natural. The Dad 'stache is able to blend into its surroundings in any given situation. It can coach pee-wee girls soccer by day and enforce the laws of our nation by night. It is a chameleon of consistency. A Dad is someone you'd feel uncomfortable hugging and his mustache is the very essence of that sentiment. Finally, per the laws of El Dia, the winner of this category CANNOT be an actual Dad.

  • Molester 'Stache

    Shitty 'Stache

    Your mustache sucks, but through no fault of your own. Shitty 'stache is an award for growth achievement in spite of poor genes.





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